Positive, Venting

Be a Friend to Women

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Now I know I said I was avoiding the news a couple of weeks back, and I have been…mostly. Habits die hard though and I ended up reading a post about Lena Dunham in the Daily Mail (ugh I know, shoot me right? After reading the article I was left feeling disappointed in the way women treat other women.

Lena is an amazing talent I have only recently discovered through the HBO show Girls. Have you watched Girls yet? The New York based show is a drama/comedy mainly centred around four girls in their twenties, each remarkably different and unique. When I first watched it on Netflix I was a bit unsure if I liked it or not, but there was something calling me back time and time again and before I knew it I was hooked. Was it the sex, the relationships, the laughter, the shocks? No, it was how real it was.

Lena is the writer of the show (wow) and she plays the central character, Hannah. Lena isn’t your typical American actress, Lena is a normal human being and Hannah isn’t your expected star of a show either. She has some meat on her like all of us real women do and that has caused a variety of reactions in the States as you can imagine. For me, the fact that Hannah is so believable in her looks and in her personality is what sold the show to me. Hannah/Lena gave me the confidence to be myself and not to hide my body from the man I love. Confidence is attractive.

So to get back on track, there I was this morning reading about Lena’s book signing for her new book ‘Not that Kind of Girl’. She was wearing what I would call a typical Hannah ensemble, and while I wouldn’t wear it myself ( it’s not really my cup of tea) I thought it was right on her. My eyes then took me to the comments where I read nothing but hate and negativity all because of her outfit. They didn’t care that she is one of the most exciting female writers of these times. I mean come on, are we all so pathetic to only care about the work of an artist if they look and dress like a supermodel?

This kind of stuff happens all the time. Style isn’t what’s in fashion and it doesn’t have rules. I believe as women we have the right to wear whatever we please, whatever makes us smile. I’m not a feminist either before anyone thinks any different, I just like the world to be fair and equal.

Women are the first to slag off each other especially when it comes to looks and fashion and that’s just wrong. We should be our biggest supporters but we’re not. We demean each other through snide comments, whispering and gossiping and it’s something that needs to stop.

Next time you find yourself questioning another woman on looks or personal taste just take a minute to think. Try not to judge, try to respect the style of others even if it’s not the same as yours. And as a woman do yourself a favour and be who you want to be, not what society makes you feel you should be.

P.S. Lena, you inspire me and I thank you for that and you own your own style, for that I love you more.




  1. Tracey

    Ah. Got it! Thanks Lynette! Great post. Here here. Couldn’t agree more. Us women should be supporting one another completely. Tracey x

    02 . Jun . 2014
  2. recipesfromapantry

    I am actually looking for new shows to watch so I need to check out girls.

    02 . Jun . 2014
  3. Nettie

    Well it’s not for the faint at heart (the sex scenes are pretty in your face, it’s really well filmed and totally awkward at times) but I recommend it if you don’t mind the gritty realities of life and people who aren’t perfect. It can make you cringe and laugh at the same time.

    02 . Jun . 2014
  4. tinuke (@circusmum_)

    I’ve not watched Girls yet but I’ve heard only good things. It’s a shame that we tend to tear women down rather than build them up in the media / social media/ real life!

    02 . Jun . 2014
  5. Mahala

    I agree, women are terrible for judging and criticising each other.

    05 . Jun . 2014
  6. Michelle Murray

    Great blog. I love Lena. I think she is such an amazing talent. Both actress and writer. Unfortunately not everyone can see that. They just see her outfits and would rather talk about that than her. I remember reading negative comments when she was naked in girls (which I know now is almost every episode). I think she plays Hannah so well and the nakedness doesn’t bother me. I wish I was that comfortable in my own body to go nude on HBO. I love the fact she has her own style and yes I probably wouldn’t wear it but good on her for not being a sheep and following what others wear. Popping over from http://www.mummy2monkeys.co.uk

    06 . Jun . 2014
  7. Nettie

    She is amazing isn’t she! I found her nakedness so natural, it didn’t make me uncomfortable either. If anything it made me feel more confident about myself, curves and all! Love her to bits. So good to meet another Girls and Lena fan 😀

    06 . Jun . 2014
  8. Emma

    Great post. I notice it all the time when out with friends in a pub or club and someone will say “look at the state of that girl. WHAT is she wearing.” Women are mean and snide to other women, something each one of us needs to call ourselves on when we find ourselves participating in a bitchy conversation.

    09 . Jun . 2014
  9. Nettie

    Absolutely. Ban the bitching!

    09 . Jun . 2014
  10. Jess Witkins

    Hi there! Emma Meade sent me over. This post is very fitting to how I’ve been feeling and what I’ve been writing lately. Women are way too harsh on one another. But the media portrays that too. And it creates that unattainable image we’re all supposed to mold to. I ADORE Lena Dunham and stand up for her whenever the opportunity presents itself because she IS a voice that needs to be heard today. She is an amazing writer and she wrote Girls because she wasn’t seeing real bodies on screen. That takes guts to do what she does and the cyber trolls clearly have nothing else better going on in their lives than cutting down a woman who challenges the norm. Kudos to Lena! “Well behaved women rarely make history.” 😉

    10 . Jun . 2014
  11. Nettie

    Hi Jess! Many thanks to Emma for sending you over. It’s wonderful to meet someone who feels the same way I do, about the media portrayal of women and Lena! Here’s hoping more shows become willing to focus on reality rather than ‘perfection’..according to god knows who. I have followed your blog and I’m looking forward to having a good old read.

    10 . Jun . 2014

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