Make Every Day a Self-Love Day – #Valentines
It was Valentine’s Day yesterday. I happen to love the day, I don’t get people who hate on it. Yes, you don’t have to say I love you only on Valentine’s Day and there is nothing sweeter than small surprise gifts or acts of kindness throughout the year. But in a world that is so full of hate (and love!), why get annoyed about a day that is celebrating love? I don’t get it. Even if you’re single there is still love in your life. Perhaps there’s love for your family, your pets, the view, your favourite show, and god forbid, YOURSELF!
Self-love is important for your happiness. Who knows what’s going to happen in life, but if you love yourself and treat yourself with care, you will get through it all.
Loving yourself is sometimes seen as a bad thing. My daughter won’t ever admit she is good at something because it’s not the thing to do. You’re seen as being big-headed or arrogant if you recognise your worth. So sad. I try to explain that you can love yourself without being an egotistical maniac. When someone pays you a compliment just accept it with grace. Say thank you and pay a compliment back. Don’t deny it, even if you don’t truly believe it at that time. And that is something that we can all work on doing to boost our self-esteem, self-worth and mental health. Paying ourselves compliments and accepting them, even if you’re not fully convinced at the start.
Working Towards Self-Love
Negatives are everywhere, in the media, in other people and in us. But positivity and love is out there too, sometimes it’s just harder to see and to feel. We can start with ourselves and begin sending out love and positivity into the world to benefit us on a personal and mental health level and to benefit the people around us, even those strangers in the streets. Here are a few tips on how to start the self-love journey if you’re in need of a push in the right direction.
- Work to introduce positivity into your thoughts. Actively say positive things about yourself and your day rather than focusing on the negatives. Start by picking between 1-5 positive things about yourself each and every day – before bed or in the shower, wherever you want, just say them in your head or write them down if you prefer and don’t deny them. Don’t add phrases like ‘I wish’ or ‘As if’. Say a positive sentence ‘My hair is super soft today’ or ‘I love the colour of my eyes’ or perhaps ‘I worked really hard today and did a good job’ and leave the thoughts there in your brainwaves.
- Repeat the step above every single day – you can repeat the same sentences or add some new ones, just do it everyday and make it a habit. It gets easier in time and niggly doubts about what you’re saying begin to become less frequent. You gradually begin accepting the positivity into your life.
- Smile when you’re on your own, even when you’re so not feeling a smile. I’m not saying ignore your blues and fight back tears – cry and explore those emotions but don’t ignore the power of a smile either. Smiling releases endorphins, those amazing happy hormones that do us some good in the old mental health arena. The endorphins are released each time you smile, so do it more and do it when you’re not feeling your best. If you need help turn to things that make you smile, spend time playing with the kiddie winks, watch something funny, look for memes online, play a video game. Or simply sit down on your bed and smile! Just do it! Oh, and smile at other people too!
- Start a positive notebook. A Twitter friend of mine decided to keep a positive notebook and I think this is such an amazing idea, especially for visual people. Sometimes saying the positive things in your head isn’t quite enough. Writing them down for you to revisit or even meditate on can be so helpful.
- Negative thoughts may still creep into your mind; they can be persistent little buggers. Just because they come in doesn’t mean they can take over. Begin practicing pushing out the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. This is something I have worked hard on over the past couple of years and gradually you’ll find the negativity is a far less frequent visitor, hurray!
So those are my five little steps to take towards positive self-love – they’ve helped me make big changes in myself and perhaps they’ll do the same for anyone else struggling like I was.
Make every day a day where you celebrate love in your life.