My Daughter is Leaving Home – Life Changing!


There are so many changes ahead but perhaps the most significant is my daughter leaving home. After enjoying her gap year, she is flying the nest and going to university. If that wasn’t enough to be dealing with at 19, she is also in the process of trying to buy her first home with her boyfriend. WHAT!!?!

Buying Shared Ownership Homes

The apartment is a shared ownership property. If you’re considering going down the same route, I would like to give you one piece of advice. Use a mortgage broker from the start. The banks do not know what they’re doing when it comes to shared ownership. It’s either the banks or the underwriters, either way, somewhere the system is broken, and it needs refining.

After being approved for a mortgage before putting in the offer on the apartment, the bank then turned around and said, ‘We don’t do shared ownership’. That wasted about 3 weeks of time to get straight back to square one. The second bank did almost the same thing, but this time they approved and then declined the mortgage when the underwriters used the 100% value of the property rather than the 40% value for which the mortgage is needed for. It’s all very complicated. Many banks simply refuse shared ownerships, others say they do but use the wrong calculations when working out the loan and repayments.

After speaking to a mortgage broker, they learned that this is a problem that comes with shared ownership home buying. Something that would have been nice to know many months ago. With this knowledge, both time and money could have been saved and a lot of stress completely removed from the process. My daughter finds out tomorrow if the broker is happy to accept them and whether they can move forward with the apartment or have to say goodbye to it.

There are other serious flaws with buying shared ownership that I won’t go into today. However, just know that after putting in an offer at the start of July they were told it would take the housing association 3 months to do the surveys and so on. Last week the housing association added on a further 3 to 4 months to that timeline. It’s a slow process and this is for an apartment where they current owners are already in their new home and the potential buyers have no chain.

Living Out of Boxes

With all that stress, my daughter and her boyfriend are currently living in limbo. My daughter has her home here of course but her boyfriend has been homeless from about 6 months now. Not homeless as in on the street, he is floating around 4 different homes: his mums, dads, my daughter’s dad’s house and here. For weeks all his belongings were in his car or being stored here there and anywhere people had space. Sadly, not everyone has room for a complete flat to be stored in their homes, so a temporary solution was required.

The best solution for all the larger items of furniture and a few boxes of personal belongings was self storage Worcester. Self-storage freed up a lot of space (in several rooms in multiple homes!) and gave peace of mind. It has stopped him from feeling like he was imposing on people and now he knows where all his belongings are at any given time. He has kept out most of his clothes and items he needs to access on a regular basis, but everything else is sat there happily waiting for when the house is officially theirs or for when they rent a place.

How I’m Coping

I’m not going to lie, I’m obviously going to miss having my daughter living here. It will be so quiet and a lot less fun without her. However, the adjustment has been made easier as she has spent these last few months house hopping with her boyfriend. Additionally, I’ve shared custody with her dad since she was 8 so I’m used to the breaks. The obvious difference is that she won’t be coming back. That hurts. I can understand why it can break a person, but I don’t feel like I will be shattered in the same way.

I’m so excited for her, whatever the future may hold. If they get the house, she will start on the property ladders which will hopefully be so beneficial for her in the years to come. If the mortgage falls through, then she will be renting. A less daunting proposition and one I would prefer as she is so young, but still a positive and amazing learning experience for her.

I’m also lucky that my daughter decided not to go to Cardiff as planned and is going to the closest university to us. That means I can still see her very often and I truly believe that is perhaps the one thing that’s preventing the heart break that can come when a child leaves home for university.

Keep Your Fingers Crossed

Although it’s not me buying the house I feel exhausted by the whole process. I’ve always dreamed of being a homeowner but had to accept that it’s not on the cards for me. I hope you’ll keep your fingers crossed for them and let’s all wish for the best possible outcome. I’ll keep you posted and may share more advice on shared ownership in the months to come.




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