I try to remain positive at all times but there are times, even days, when my positivity takes a nose dive. It’s natural of course but negativity is something I don’t want dwelling in my mind let alone my life for any period of time. When the news gets me down or the bad mood of others begins to rub off on me I try to channel all my energy into turning the situation round. If I can be happy and inject some positivity in others around me perhaps we can all turn the day around and make it a good one. Well, that’s the way I see it anyway…some people might just find that annoying. It’s difficult though but I’ve found a few tips that help me to turn my frown upside down. Did I really just say that?
Search for a Positive
I happen to live with perhaps the most negative person I have ever known and so searching for a positive happens several times a day. Usually it’s not that tough as the negative situations in my boyfriend’s eyes are often not really negative. Seriously, my handsome boyfriend found things to complain about when his brand new PS4 arrived. The problem is sometimes there are seriously negative problems going on in the world and finding positives isn’t always a piece of cake. That doesn’t mean they aren’t worth looking for though and it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. One shining glimmer of hope or one new opportunity making itself known is enough to cling on to. Sometimes you’ll need to give yourself time before you can begin to look for these signs, but don’t forget to look once you’re ready.
Reduce Negativity in Your Own Space
Removing negative input is useful, avoiding the news, offering help to others venting on social networks or a change of scenery even for a few minutes can make all the difference. I am also a firm believer in the use of comedy – listening, watching and raising laughs yourself. Do what you can to cultivate a positive environment in your own home and work environment.
If you do have negative energy around you that is making life very difficult sometimes the best option is to get rid of it. You might be better letting go of a friendship or even a partner. This is a tough call to make and only you can make it.
Give What You Want to Receive
Send out what you hope to receive back. If you want to see happiness, smiles and laughter try to emit it yourself first. The upside of being the positive one in the home is that when I do get down days my boyfriend has learned how to reverse the techniques I use on him. He’ll say things like “Like you say to me…” or “Come on, let’s just have a laugh about it”. Send positivity out in other ways too:
- Listen to those that need help or want to have a good old moan. You don’t need to give advice, just be there as a sounding board and show the other person that they have your attention and that you’re there for them.
- Help others. When you see friends fundraising try to give or show your support by sharing their campaigns if you can’t help out financially. Share those lost dog photos on Facebook, help your friend move house, take a gift to a friend for no reason. A few weeks back I mentioned on Facebook that I would like a drink as it was Saturday but that I was skint, bummer. The next morning a friend of mine left a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beers on my doorstep. I found out who it was last weekend, my old best friend from primary school who I haven’t seen for twenty years! It was such a kind and selfless act and it is something I am never going to forget.
- Smile at others, hold doors open, thank the servers in the shops. This can be tough if you have social phobias like I do but it comes easier with practice.
It’s simple really; treat others how you want to be treated. If you do want to be ignored at least flash a quick smile before heading on your way.
Don’t Let Criticism Ruin Your Day
We all get criticised sometimes and it can be extremely beneficial. The downside is it can also be hurtful and knock your confidence. The way I deal with criticism is to try to process what has been said before I reply. Once processed think about how I can learn from it and try to see the point being made from an outside perspective. If it’s helpful criticism it’s worth a reply, I put my side across and try to show understanding. If the criticism is an attack I let it go, it’s there problem not mine.
Venting is Okay
When having an off day it’s often better to get it all out and then begin working on lifting the spirits after. Treat yourself to a day in bed watching movies, have a good cry, finish your book, lie in the bath for an hour, do whatever you need. After you have given yourself time to vent and relax begin feeding the mind positive thoughts and affirmations.
We are surrounded by negativity and some of us live very close to it, but it doesn’t have to ruin our days or our lives. Take a stand and focus your energies into learning how to be positive within yourself and begin sharing it around. We can bring our own light to our lives.